Why the problem is your thoughts and what to do about it
This post will explain why “off periods” are not the problem, why the problem is your thoughts, and what to do about it.
“In order for relationships to thrive, there has to be safety & security, with each other AND with yourself.”
Loving your significant other (S.O.) is easy when he’s filling your love language tanks, going the extra mile to make you smile, and overall performing from his A-game.
But, how easy is it when he’s not?
Everybody has ‘off’ periods in their life, but the problem is NOT those ‘off’ Periods.
It’s the thoughts you have about those ‘off’ periods and then how you internalize them and make them mean something about you (or him). That’s the true issue.
And, when YOU make the ISSUE mean something about you, let’s just break that down:
ISSUE = ISS UE = It’s You (hehe)
In order for relationships to thrive, there has to be safety & security, with each other AND with yourself.
One of the ways that safety and security comes from is by the thoughts you think during the highs and lows.
If the knee-jerk reaction to the lows is to make it mean the relationship is over, that you’re broken & terrible at relationships, and that you are ‘defected,’...what do you think your brain will do?
Your brain believes what you think
Your brain will go to work building a case supporting that notion by finding every form of evidence in order to make you right (your brain loves to make you right) and show you proof that your relationship is over, you’re broken & terrible at relationships, and that you’re defective.
Then, you’ll start believing it’s true and it will create this unproductive pattern in your relationship when the low times get activated.
When I work with clients to improve their relationship, I always start with what we can control (YOU).
We work on creating safety and security with yourself,
first and then build upon that.
How to improve your relationships
Because when the lows come (and they will), you’ll already know how to fill your own love tanks, make yourself smile, and operate from your own ‘A’ game…knowing anything beyond that is a bonus, not a relational dealbreaker.
Becoming RELATIONALLY ‘fit’ starts with you, always.
I help you learn how to unconditionally love YOU first, even the parts of you that are filled with shame.
We work on having your own back, become BFFs with you, and having more fun & fulfillment in life NOW (while in the process of reaching big goals).
Healing self sabotaging behaviors
ABOUT THE AUTHOR I’m Meg Smithson and I remember vividly the heartache, distress, and agony that self sabotaging behaviors caused me. Between eating disorders, anxiety, major self doubt, and constant imbalance, I couldn’t seem to live the fulfilling life I imagined.
If you are currently dealing with this, I get it & know exactly how you feel.
I spent a decade of heartache striving to fit the elusive mold of what mainstream considered “perfect” all while trying to figure out why I was put on this earth.
I learned to listen to what I needed…
…not what others expected of me. Gradually, I felt freedom like I had never imagined I could.
What does a relationship coach do?
Now, I teach women to find that freedom, too, by helping them create the relationship that they really want, faster by first healing their attachment to shame, people pleasing, & perfectionism.
Click to schedule a free consult!
Meg Smithson, Life Coach
Meg coaches women by identifying areas of self sabotage, helping them break up with the shame that usually accompanies that, and then shows them how to set boundaries around the emerging 2.0 version they want to become, and live that life, unapologetically.
Click to schedule a life coaching consultation with Meg.
