How Shame is Like a Soap Opera
This post will explain why disappointment is a temporary feeling, not a personality characteristic you should embody.
“Disappointment is something to be felt, not worn 24/7.”
I was the “Runaway Bride” on steroids (not literally), but I RAN from anything…
***The ‘Shame-Soap-Opera’ Starring Meg Smithson
***I learned I have some crazy ENDURANCE to keep going, hehe.
For a decade +, my struggles with my body image, food, relationships, & business all became a shame-soap-opera because I made my struggles take on a meaning about me, internalized them, believed them, and then operated from that “Something is wrong with me” place.
Let me just save you a HECK-OF-A-LOTTA time…that thought doesn’t produce results that you really want.
‘Work harder’ took on a whole new meaning to me, when I felt like I was operating from a “less than” place.
I always felt behind and felt like I needed to catch-up to achieve an average baseline, which added unproductive pressure to whatever I was trying to do.
If something wasn’t working, I would just change the circumstances (diet/workout/guy/business), hope that the change of circumstance was THE magical answer, and then get sadly disappointed that it didn’t work (and shocker, go back into a deeper shame spiral).
It was constantly running from disappointment, rejection, & failure because I had created this unhealthy attachment to each of these areas, making my self WORTH equate to how my body looked, what I ate, my relationship status, and how well my business was doing.
All this did was create a rollercoaster of emotions, shut down due to shame when those areas weren’t performing the way I wished, and then made it mean something about me.
Why Working Harder Doesn’t Heal Shame
More ACTION was what I THOUGHT I needed to do (and clearly that didn’t work), but what I really needed was a THOUGHT audit.
I had to dig up the deeply rooted unproductive thoughts, become aware of them, challenge them, and then clean up what WAS NOT working or serving the ultimate mission.
THEN, and only then, would I take action. That was my rule.
I didn’t want a life that was only fulfilling only WHEN I had:
The body
The man
The diet
The business success
I wanted to be fulfilled, no matter what.
Not WHEN ‘xyz’ happened in my life.
How Changing My Thought Life Changed My Life
That meant doing a massive cleanup of any unproductive thoughts that would pop up when undesirable results occurred.
I help you work SMARTER not harder, by cleaning up thoughts that aren’t getting you the results you crave.
I had to learn to sit my butt down, quit running, and become aware of what I was truly thinking (even when it was laced with fear, guilt, grief, and shame).
Disappointment is something to be felt, not worn 24/7.
I can help you undress your disappointment & FINALLY design a life you love.
Healing self sabotaging behaviors
ABOUT THE AUTHOR I’m Meg Smithson and I remember vividly the heartache, distress, and agony that self sabotaging behaviors caused me. Between eating disorders, anxiety, major self doubt, and constant imbalance, I couldn’t seem to live the fulfilling life I imagined.
If you are currently dealing with this, I get it & know exactly how you feel.
I spent a decade of heartache striving to fit the elusive mold of what mainstream considered “perfect” all while trying to figure out why I was put on this earth.
I learned to listen to what I needed…
…not what others expected of me. Gradually, I felt freedom like I had never imagined I could.
What does a relationship coach do?
Now, I teach women to find that freedom, too, by helping them create the relationship that they really want, faster by first healing their attachment to shame, people pleasing, & perfectionism.
Click to schedule a free consult!
Meg Smithson, Life Coach
Meg coaches women by identifying areas of self sabotage, helping them break up with the shame that usually accompanies that, and then shows them how to set boundaries around the emerging 2.0 version they want to become, and live that life, unapologetically.
Click to schedule a life coaching consultation with Meg.
