When People Pleasing has Become a Security Blanket in Your Life
This post will explain how to get to the root of your need to people please.
“People pleasing has become a security blanket in your life.”
People pleasing has become a security blanket in your life.
And, what if that wasn’t a problem?
If you’re always used to feeling like a problem, isn’t this simple sentence, soothing?
People pleasing has served a purpose in your life, and in order to lessen its pull on your life, the roots must be addressed.
It served as a protective mechanism in your life, to provide safety you weren’t even aware of yet.
Where does people pleasing come from?
Can you pause and acknowledge your body’s innate ability to protect you and keep you safe without even trying?
And, we can choose to compassionately challenge its pull on you, from here on out.
People pleasing possibly showed up when you were little in order to keep your parents happy.
People pleasing possibly showed up when you were little in order to make friends and prevent rejection.
People pleasing possibly showed up to be a high performer as a child in school in order to be fully accepted, seen, and worthy by teachers, other students, and your parents.
People pleasing possibly showed up when you took on the career choice, the relationship, the status that your parents wanted of you, versus what you wanted.
What do you think would happen if your people pleasing security
blanket was taken from you?
If you feel scared to speak up and it doesn’t feel safe, that’s okay.
If you feel like it’s impossible to say no to someone of influence, that’s okay.
If you feel like something is wrong with you, when you say yes to something you don’t want to do, as if it was a knee jerk reaction, that’s okay too.
Nothing is wrong with you. You simply have a human brain that
has a job to keep you safe.
When your brain does its automatic response, acknowledge what it’s doing. It’s in service of your safety, not betraying you…AND also realize you have a choice here.
Do you risk living life on your terms, or purposefully put yourself in ‘unsafe’ situations while creating safety to have your own back as you navigate the life you really want?
True freedom comes from awareness of these protective patterns AND not making them a problem.
Curiosity of your people pleasing roots will lead to answers that serve where you truly want to go.
Shutting down as if you are defected & incapable will only keep you stuck in default patterns that serve your safety and don’t take you to where you really want to be.
This is the work.
And, it doesn’t have to be hard and overwhelming.
How fun would life be with the ability to say no, mean it, and not be guilty about it at all?
What if you were leading a life on your terms, not subconsciously your parents?
I will teach you the same tools I used to create safety even whenI felt unsafe :
calling off a fully paid for wedding
calling off dental school
leaving all that I knew to pursue more education and healing in NYC,
and the same tools to create a dream business, dream husband & family that I’m obsessed with.
Our brains make it harder than it has to be. I conveniently simplify it for you to make the journey faster.
Healing self sabotaging behaviors
ABOUT THE AUTHOR I’m Meg Smithson and I remember vividly the heartache, distress, and agony that self sabotaging behaviors caused me. Between eating disorders, anxiety, major self doubt, and constant imbalance, I couldn’t seem to live the fulfilling life I imagined.
If you are currently dealing with this, I get it & know exactly how you feel.
I spent a decade of heartache striving to fit the elusive mold of what mainstream considered “perfect” all while trying to figure out why I was put on this earth.
I learned to listen to what I needed…
…not what others expected of me. Gradually, I felt freedom like I had never imagined I could.
What does a relationship coach do?
Now, I teach women to find that freedom, too, by helping them create the relationship that they really want, faster by first healing their attachment to shame, people pleasing, & perfectionism.
Click to schedule a free consult!
Meg Smithson, Life Coach
Meg coaches women by identifying areas of self sabotage, helping them break up with the shame that usually accompanies that, and then shows them how to set boundaries around the emerging 2.0 version they want to become, and live that life, unapologetically.
Click to schedule a life coaching consultation with Meg.
