Why you ‘think’ you’re ready, and then you blow it
This post will explore why reaching new goals must come with self work and thought management for changes to become sustainable.
“What if this isn’t an ‘ability’ problem, but a belief that hasn’t matured yet?”
You ‘think’ you’re ready, and then you blow it.
Have you had this happen before? You’re after a goal, then it happens far sooner than you had anticipated, and then you ‘feel’ like you can’t handle it (yet).
As much as you may internalize this and make it mean something about your inability, what if this isn’t an ‘ability’ problem, but a belief that hasn’t matured yet?
This is normal and nothing has gone wrong.
It’s simply time to build up that belief of you becoming the person that can easily manage this area, and letting the whole you catch up.
Relationships are a big one where I see this happen a lot.
The battles are still being fought from something that isn’t even happening now. (hello past).
A fun exercise I like to do is to “try on” a future lifestyle that you want, and see where your inner belief is. Tap into that imagination, because it is a powerful free resource that can create anything you want.
An example of this in the relationship realm, could be marriage, or if you’re already married, trying on the thought of expanding your family.
Perfectionism likes to get in the way here, reminding you of all of the things that need to be in order in order to be ‘deserving’ of your goal.
Again, this is another primitive brain security system trying to protect you of future danger.
I used to ‘try on’ marriage. My belief wasn’t there a decade ago. Yes, I had good reason to be scared because I had called off a fully paid for wedding, and still had some debris there.
Trying on this belief ahead of time and taking note of where I was, allowed me to have data to then take and utilize to re-create belief in an area that I found I did want, but needed to build daily and let it compound into full belief.
I was literally seeing where I was, and building a ‘belief bridge’ until I became a wife.
And now I have a husband.
When working towards a goal together, it’s an ongoing, fun process of battling what’s in the way, building a stronger belief bridge daily until you've become the person that has what you want. Let’s connect.
Healing self sabotaging behaviors
ABOUT THE AUTHOR I’m Meg Smithson and I remember vividly the heartache, distress, and agony that self sabotaging behaviors caused me. Between eating disorders, anxiety, major self doubt, and constant imbalance, I couldn’t seem to live the fulfilling life I imagined.
If you are currently dealing with this, I get it & know exactly how you feel.
I spent a decade of heartache striving to fit the elusive mold of what mainstream considered “perfect” all while trying to figure out why I was put on this earth.
I learned to listen to what I needed…
…not what others expected of me. Gradually, I felt freedom like I had never imagined I could.
What does a relationship coach do?
Now, I teach women to find that freedom, too, by helping them create the relationship that they really want, faster by first healing their attachment to shame, people pleasing, & perfectionism.
Click to schedule a free consult!
Meg Smithson, Life Coach
Meg coaches women by identifying areas of self sabotage, helping them break up with the shame that usually accompanies that, and then shows them how to set boundaries around the emerging 2.0 version they want to become, and live that life, unapologetically.
Click to schedule a life coaching consultation with Meg.
