Fix it or Feel it?
This post will explore why hardest emotions to process and why sometimes it's ‘more productive’ to actually sit and feel the discomfort of a heavy emotion.
“Fix it or Feel it. We need both.”
To fix it or feel it, that is the ultimate question?!
We need both, but at different times.
Sometimes it's ‘more productive’ to actually sit and feel the discomfort of a heavy emotion. [Fun fact: research shows that it takes just 90 seconds to have an emotion processed in your body].
Other times it's better to take note of it, like fear, acknowledge it’s there AND still take action.
4 of the biggest emotions to tackle are:
Guilt
Shame
Grief
Fear
Grief is one of the areas that people tend to have more compassion for, as you navigate through a death, divorce, or traumatic life-changing event.
So let’s start there, but with a twist.
What isn’t always given an equal permission to grieve is the mourning of outdated versions of you that must go.
The 5 stages of grief can come along with this outgrowing version too:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
This part is painful, and navigating your needs at this time is crucial to riding the waves of grief with the growing pains.
Space to feel sad is part of your growth.
Space to feel the way you’re actually experiencing your emotions, without being told how you should be expected to process is part of your growth.
Honoring your needs, as you experience the growing pains of growth is not something going wrong, but part of making space for this updated version of you to emerge.
Adding in comfort and compassion as you feel stretched, is a non-negotiable for your next level of success.
It’s different for everyone.
Coaching, for me, is one of those nourishing, non-negotiables because it gives me space to grow, try on new thoughts, be challenged as I’m stretching, and also helps me clean up any outdated thoughts that need to go.
It continues to provide me with support (kinda like “I need back up” in the cop world) knowing that someone else has your back, scanning the scene in areas you can’t see. Let’s connect.
Healing self sabotaging behaviors
ABOUT THE AUTHOR I’m Meg Smithson and I remember vividly the heartache, distress, and agony that self sabotaging behaviors caused me. Between eating disorders, anxiety, major self doubt, and constant imbalance, I couldn’t seem to live the fulfilling life I imagined.
If you are currently dealing with this, I get it & know exactly how you feel.
I spent a decade of heartache striving to fit the elusive mold of what mainstream considered “perfect” all while trying to figure out why I was put on this earth.
I learned to listen to what I needed…
…not what others expected of me. Gradually, I felt freedom like I had never imagined I could.
What does a relationship coach do?
Now, I teach women to find that freedom, too, by helping them create the relationship that they really want, faster by first healing their attachment to shame, people pleasing, & perfectionism.
Click to schedule a free consult!
Meg Smithson, Life Coach
Meg coaches women by identifying areas of self sabotage, helping them break up with the shame that usually accompanies that, and then shows them how to set boundaries around the emerging 2.0 version they want to become, and live that life, unapologetically.
Click to schedule a life coaching consultation with Meg.
